Billy Zane aka The perfect man. Would love to play sux and fux. - Kimmy

Dear Kimberly Strubell,

I was recently searching the family computer for a recipe that I had seen on a web page a week back. I checked the internet history and what I found was disturbing. It seems as though that the night before, while me and my husband were out seeing the Blue Man Group, my son was at home looking at pornography. This fact by itself was upsetting; but, what made it much worse was that it was incest based porn. The porn he was looking at was father and son style gay porn.

Months ago I found bundles of his fathers (technically his Step Father, but has been since he was 2) dirty underwear under his bed. When I asked why, he didn't have an answer. 

What do I do? - Carrie, 43, kennebunkport, ME 


Dear Carrie,

Please don't waste my fucking time. Your son is gay and your husband isn't even his father by blood. Your son is gonna smack his fuckin prick off and that's what he's into. If it was his biological father I'd be like "uh oh lol fuxin gross", but this is completely different. If you had a wicked hot step brother that wanted to fuck you, you're telling me you wouldn't just because you grew up as, and please pay attention to the quotation marks, "brother" and "sister"? Bullshit. They're not related and if your son is into older men, let him have his sexual fantasies involving his father. 

You're being a prude and I don't have a whole lot of respect for you. Please don't write me again. - Kimmy

Dear Kent Strubell,

I am single mother living in Baltimore, MD. I work two jobs to support my 8 year old son and myself, but am just scraping by. Last month on my one day off, I told my son we could go to CVS to buy a toy for him to play with. While we were in the store, a mob of people angry over the death of Freddy Gray while in police custody, came rushing in and began to loot. Caught up in the rush of people, my son and I were trapped in a corner of the store, praying for the violence to stop. After about 15 minutes, the store was on fire and we rushed out. Once outside, my son witnessed a mans throat being cut wide open. I still don't know what to tell my son about what happened. I stay up weeping over our current economic and sociopolitical construct in this city. Where do I find hope in such a desperate situation?- Kendra, 31, Baltimore, MD

Daer Kenra,

ok ok go back for second. U did say to that wen t to cvs to get toy for son? lol wut did toy he get? ok pls listen! that is best part story! plaese right back with mo re inforrmetion about toy. good luck! :) - Ket

Dear Larry Nabisco,

I recently brought my children to see the new Avengers film. My son Michael is 10 years old, and my daughter Jeannine is 8. I knew going in that the film was PG-13, however I was a bit shocked at the amount of violence and destruction in the film. Against my best judgement, we stayed until the credits. The kids looked a bit shaken up afterwards, but seemed to enjoy the movie all the same.

Later that night around 2AM, I caught my son trying to open my daughters locked bedroom door with a butchers knife (the same way Captain America does in the Avengers: Age Of Ultron, while trying to gain access to Black Widows bedroom in order to force himself sexually on her). Did I make a mistake bringing my children to this violent movie? - Paul, 39, Naples, FL

Dear Paul,

I know the scene in question as I'm a comic book movie enthusiast. The scene shows Captain America (played by Chris Evans) trying to open a locked door with a butcher knife, presumably to gain access to Black Widow's (played by Scarlett Johansen) bedroom to perform a series of sexual molestation's, including nonconsensual knife play. Chris Evans has a knack for playing villains and he shows us this once again in Avengers: Age Of Ultron, a movie I have seen. There is also a scene in which the Hulk is riding in a car with Hawkeye and he drops the "N word". All that mixed with very little action and less than 3 minutes of Robert Downey Jr. (who plays Iron Man, the film's star) in the entire movie makes me think the film makers were more interested money than telling a story. 

That being said, I don't think that there's anything wrong with your son. I don't think this is life imitating art. I think kids just like to play. You're a good father, but sometimes there's such thing as too much parenting. Leave your children be and allow them to watch violent films so they can see how not to act. Best wishes Paul. - Larry Nabisco

Sigourney Weavers beautiful breasts from the 1995 film "Indian In The Cupboard". The female form is an angelic sight. I would never disrespect any women sexually. - Larry Nabisco

Dear Larry Nabisco,

My wife and I are looking into buying a home in Boston. What is the housing market like in Boston right now? - Gary,45, New York City,NY

Dear Gary,

You must know that before I was the regional manager of Build A Bear (sorry, not trying to brag ;) ) I worked in a home lenders office. Right now for a low down payment, you can expect to pay 1.34% apr financing on a new home in the city, which doesn't sound like much until you look into the reverse brokerage fee you'll need to pay. Then, providing you've turned your reverse mortgage into an annual annuity, you'll be stuck with low risk equity, but with a high yield bond junket. Bring your portfolio to your broker; if he looks at it and begins to weep for you, you know that financially you are in deep doo doo; especially when you reallocate your funds from equity capital markets. Take the money you would spend on a house and spend it on a Fund Manager. Your fund manager will eventually take half of your yearly income, but, he will be able to point you in the right direction in regard to equity mandates and liquidation of funds. Good luck Gary! - Larry

Dear Kent Strubell,

My boyfriend says that The Ramones were the most influential punk band of all time. I disagree; I think The Clash (often referred to as 'The only band that matters') were the most influential due to their diverse musical styles and politically charged lyrics. Just wondering if you had any input on the matter. - Sheryl, 19, Santa Barbara,CA

Dare Sheril,

Well haha hold on please if you do. I kno that wen to listen to music for punk, u listen to joe ramone and joe strummer so for the clash and ramones. If punk was to everyone was to be loud... yes, ok then i think that was now as big as giutars. I do remeber punk was good and influntial. Thank for questioon Sheryl :) - Kent